Top 10 Ugliest Cars of 2016

We’ve compiled a list of the top ten ugliest cars available for sale in America in 2016. Without further ado, let’s blitz through an itemized collection of the most revolting, homely or downright unattractive vehicles out there! You may want to avert your gaze lest these eyesores make you dry-heave.

ugliest-honda-hrv

The Honda HR-V may be imminently efficient and perfectly practical but this subcompact crossover is oddly proportioned and has a bizarre front end. To be certain, it’s not one of Honda’s proudest styling efforts. But the HRV’s ghastly prow pales in comparison to what Toyota plastered on its…

ugliest-toyota-yaris

Toyota Yaris subcompact hatchback. This fuel-sipper’s face brings to mind a half-witted mouth-breather with its floppy jaw dangling wide-open in the true spirit of Napoleon Dynamite.

Unlike the first two models on this list, the next car is neither small nor affordable.

ugliest-infiniti-qx80

Coming in at number eight is the Infiniti QX80. This beast of an SUV is simply too ungainly for its own good and is lathered in more chrome than a 1959 Cadillac and you can’t help but be blinded by its tastelessness. Toss in tacky fender vents that look like they were pulled off a Pep Boys clearance rack and you have all the key ingredients for a stylist disaster. That said, we love Infiniti design; just not this particular vehicle.

Moving on, what has squinty headlights and a jumbled-up front end?

ugliest-jeep-cherokee

The stomach-turning 2016 Jeep Cherokee off-roader, of course! How can you not think this vehicle is all kinds of unattractive?

ugliest-mitsubishi-marage

At number six is the tripe-diamond brand’s rudimentary subcompact offering spruced-up for the new 2016 model year. This bottom-feeder looks every bit as chintzy as it feels, which is a remarkable accomplishment.

ugliest-toyota-prius

Speaking of redesigns, Toyota’s seminal fuel-sipper the Prius was recently overhauled; gaining new features and even more efficiency but evidently these improvements came at the expense of design because it’s more horrid than ever with lines and shapes that make you astonish the sense. Take a gander at that back end; it’s vile.

ugliest-nissan-juke

Next we have an automotive oddball that’s been the butt of jokes since its introduction. We’re talking about the Nissan Juke which can best be described as a baffling cross between an alligator and a gourd. This subcompact crossover is homely six ways to Sunday!

ugliest-bmw-i3

What if washing machines had four wheels and were made of carbon fiber? Well, then they’d be exactly like the BMW i3 (that we recently spent time with and reviewed!).

This frumpy fuel-saver is an incongruous mix of odd shapes and lines. Why, oh why does the automotive future have to look so weird?

Now we’re on to our runner-up finisher, the…

ugliest-lincoln-mkt

What pops into your mind on first sight? Admit it, a Victorian-era funeral carriage. The Lincoln MKT is probably the most Hearse-like vehicle on the market today (short of an actual, well, Hearse, of course). You have to give Lincoln credit for actually trying something different with this model (just not enough to actually be measurable). I’m sure you’ll agree that it’s hideous from every angle.

With that, there’s just one car left on our top ten list of ugliest cars in America for 2016 and I assure you it’s an ocular assault that few can gave upon without losing consciousness. Viewer discretion is advised!

But before we reveal the “winner” here are a few dishonorable mentions:

ugliest-bmw-x6

BMW X6: It’s more expensive, less practical and homelier than the X5 on which it’s based, so why does it even exist?

ugliest-toyota-mirai

Toyota Mirai: This Toyota moonshot is hydrogen-powered and promised true emissions-free motoring but unfortunately this alien craft looks like what crash-landed in Roswell.

ugliest-subaru-impreza

Subaru Impreza: This car essentially has no design whatsoever; it’s just shaped like it is and really that’s all there is to say.

But now for the ugliest car in America available today, it’s the…

ugliest-fiat-500

This unsightly people-hauler is like an Italian version of a GM dustbuster van from the 1980’s. Wonky lines, ovoid lamps and a top-heavy silhouette make it very difficult to look at. Cementing this choice at “the top” the Fiat 500 L is (astonishingly) even worse to drive than it is to gaze upon. Yes, Fiat’s engineering department actually managed to outdo it’s design studio. How? I have absolutely no idea!

And that’s it for this shortlist. What did you think of our vehicular choices? Did we miss anything particularly horrible? If so, make sure to leave a comment down below.

Oh, and if you disagree with my unimpeachable opinions, never may your restaurant recommendations, investment advice or suggestions for making important life decisions be trusted again!

2017-nissan-armada

2017 Nissan Armada Unveiled at 2016 Chicago Auto Show

Are you ready to set sail? Nissan certainly hopes so as they unveiled their all-new SUV here at the 2016 Chicago Auto Show so get your sea-legs, matey and prepare to weigh anchor!

This full-size sport utility vehicle has been totally reworked for the 2017 model year serving as the brands flagship (ok, I’m done with the nautical references) and sits atop a fully-boxed ladder frame for all the ruggedness of a pickup truck. Compared to its predecessor, this structure is 20% stiffer, which is due in large part to larger cross-sections.

That sturdier foundation lets this eight-passenger SUV to tow and impressive 8,500 pounds.

That sturdier foundation lets this eight-passenger SUV to tow and impressive 8,500 pounds.

When properly equipped that number applies to both two- and four-wheel-drive models.

When properly equipped that number applies to both two- and four-wheel-drive models.

Getting that much mass moving is a familiar 5.6-liter v8 engine. Like the rest of the 2017 Nissan Armada it too has been enhanced for the new model year.

Getting that much mass moving is a familiar 5.6-liter v8 engine. Like the rest of the 2017 Nissan Armada it too has been enhanced for the new model year.

It’s gained direct fuel injection, a higher compression ratio, new pistons, and Nissan’s new VVEL (Variable Valve Event and Lift system) technology. All told, it cranks out a substantial 390 horsepower and 401 lb.-ft. of torque.

That powerplant is matched to a seven-speed transmission and should deliver better fuel economy than before all while running on regular-grade gasoline.

That powerplant is matched to a seven-speed transmission and should deliver better fuel economy than before all while running on regular-grade gasoline.

Now if this drivetrain sounds familiar, it should because the 2017 Nissan Armada is essentially a rebranded version of the Infiniti QX80 which is itself a variant of the Nissan Patrol, one of the company’s global 4×4 all-terrain products.

Have you noticed the family resemblance yet? Check out that side-glass and of course that front fender side-vents which are actually functional air intakes.

Have you noticed the family resemblance yet? Check out that side-glass and of course that front fender side-vents which are actually functional air intakes.

But that’s not all! There are even more similarities. Wheelbase, width, overall length and height exactly match the Infiniti and that is not necessarily a bad thing.

Emulating the luxury of the more expensive sibling, the Armada comes with a host of standard goodies including a navigation system with an 8" color display, heated front seats, a 13-speaker Bose sound system and dual-zone automatic climate control.

Emulating the luxury of the more expensive sibling, the Armada comes with a host of standard goodies including a navigation system with an 8″ color display, heated front seats, a 13-speaker Bose sound system and dual-zone automatic climate control.

Available extras include all the latest technological goodies like the adaptive cruise control, forward emergency braking, lane departure warning and prevention.

The 2017 Nissan Aramada will be available summer 2016 in three available trim packages and eight different exterior colors; Espresso Black, Magnetic Black, Pearl White, Midnight Garnet, Brilliant Silver, Java Metallic, Gun Metallic, and Arctic Blue Metallic.

The 2017 Nissan Aramada will be available summer 2016 in three available trim packages and eight different exterior colors; Espresso Black, Magnetic Black, Pearl White, Midnight Garnet, Brilliant Silver, Java Metallic, Gun Metallic, and Arctic Blue Metallic.

Nissan hasn’t released the price of the new Armada nor MPG yet but we’ll let you know as soon as we find out. Numbers for the 2016 model are as follows:

SV
$38,510
SL
$43,600
SV 4WD
$43,810
SL 4WD
$46,500
Platinum
$49,880
Platinum 4WD
$52,780

Please visit often as we’ll be updating the site throughout the day from here at the 2016 Chicago Auto Show!